अपने लिए वक़्त....

ऐसी कैसी ज़िन्दगी हो जो मैं अपने ही साथ वक़्त बिताने से कतराउँ...या अपने लिए ही समय ना निकाल पाऊँ। और जब मिले समय तो उलझी रहूँ।
ऐ मन! दिया और देंगे तुमको इतनी निगाह की मुझमे खोए न रहो....
पूरी आज़ादी होगी तुमहारी - चाहे जैसी भी बातें हो, उनको कहने और सुनाने की । सोचने और उनको करने या न करने का फैसला हम तुमसे ही पूछेंगे ।
देना साथ मेरा, चाहे वो निंदा करके ही क्यूँ न हो।
तुम्हारे बगैर मैं खाली और तुमको सुने बगैर मैं मत्सुन्न हो जाऊँगी ।

रहीम के दोहे यूँ ही नहीं सटीक कहे जाते, अब इस मौके पे मन तुमको ये सुनाया जाये -
"रहिमन निज संपत्ति बिना, कोऊ न विपत्ति सहाय ।
बिन पानी ज्यूँ जलज को नहीं रवि सके बचाय "

When I was blaming the administration....

If I am the aam junta, my work in the administrative offices are to be done only on my efforts. The simple mantra is that I be concerned about my work. C'mon that's how it is. Don't have to believe the paper is moved unless it actually moved in front of my eyes. However, there is a very practical way of learning there rules and regulation. I can be ignorant and when in the last minute some other paper doesn't seem to be moving, I have to go back and hunt for the earlier discrepancies that have led from my not paying due attention. Well, ignorance isn't a bliss in this case. If I ask questions I am told "You should know". So, I give two adjectives to myself - irresponsible and ignorant.

I cannot be short-tempered either. If I am, either the time taken increases and the work done inches out relatively at the mercy of the people on the other side of the table. No No. I, by no means, intend to say the other side is not good to us. Well! I was very politely asked for chocolates for the kids of the concerned person. It was very human. Kids do like chocolates but my likes and dislikes are ignored completely always.......... These people are also very responsible. People like me trouble them every now and then with our abovementioned peculiar traits.

Honestly, I feel bad for them. They are under continuous tremendous pressure unlike us. They have to stick to the rules of hierarchy in the office and then they are not know-alls. How can they let you know the procedure they themselves aren't sure of? After all, the plan of action for each of their colleagues follow are so variant and creative. Also, everytime there is a problem they are to be blamed. This isn't fair! Even though the blaming population actually deals with them in person, we are selfish. We work for ourselves and they work for us [possibly without any returns].

Here onwards, I understand it better than I did so earlier. Let me take lessons from this be prepared for the future ones. Who knows, if I ever go on the other side of the table, I might end up being subjected to similar blames and then.......... God save me the repentance!